Mr. Sandman

I'm posting this from Accra, several days after I wrote it, because the internet on camp has been horrible lately. It has been a huge undertaking just to get my e-mail open.

Anyway...

I just heard Mr. Sandman, you know that song. How or why it is playing I can't say. I'm trying the new internet cafe next to the one I usually go to.

It has been a bit rough around the edges lately. The wall is back. So many people are leaving, I'm still feeling like heading home, but that would be quitting and in this instance as least I am too stubborn and I understand that I still have much more to learn before I return home.

Spent a decent amount of today feeling fairly ineffective. I hate that feeling. A long time ago, my Aunt Kali told me that I would not make a very good teacher because I can't tolerate incompetance. She said that if I were a teacher, I should be a professor, when I wouldn't have to deal very much with discipline. I have for a good many years thought that she was right. My experiences here have only confirmed this. Some people are absolutely amazing with at risk kids. Children who have had a hard life and as a result are tough as nails and misbehave. I am not. Working in classrooms and living around kids who (for many important and legitimate reasons) are fairly obnoxious is not my forte. My patience continues to wear thin and I find that I am getting more and more flustered regarding disipline issues as time goes on. I think this sounds pretty bad, but the fact of the matter is that I am growing tired of this aspect of life here.

Thank god for Tori, a lovely woman from Australia who is helping me to stay afloat with her good conversation skills, insight and sense of humor. We keep quoting "Strickly Ballroom" at each other. Well, mainly she is quoting it since I don't have an Australian accent and she does. "Mr. Fife! Mr. Fife!" She and I have agreed to help each other keep ourselves together throughout our third month.

Woke up the other morning just in time to hear a parent beating their child with a switch right outside my bedroom window. Rachel put it best when she said, "Just in case you forgot where you are..." Tori and I were talking today and she was pointing out that a ton of our energy and mental power goes to just dealing with all of the poverty, trauma and violence that we see and hear everyday. I think that she is right.

My dear housemate Annie, has left camp. She is the first in a long line of 9 volunteers who are leaving in the next 5 days. She is off to travel for the next few months, and I wish her a great journey! May she enjoy her time and be comfortable back in England when the trip is over.

Oh! Also, I've been meaning to communicate this to Joshua but keep forgetting so I'll put it here:

Annie went to see Pink Floyd perform 'The Wall' in concert. She said it was amazing.

The order of the day is keeping my head above water. I think things will fall back into place but for now my mind is a crazy jumble of transitions, child beatings, poor education, shady politics from the administration, living, working and hanging out with several IVs, none of whom know me that well (and vice versa) and basically day to day activities like eating, showering, using the bathroom and generally getting out of bed in the morning.

It is going to be another busy week.

Bye for now, I'm off to have some yam chips dipped in yogurt and a coke at Brotherhood (our local restaurant of choice).