Joshua and I are still living here in Alabama. My initial dedication to keeping our apartment clean is fading and I find that clutter is building up. The novelty of living in a new apartment has worn off.
Roller derby has opened an old can of worms. It is challenging certain ideas I've held about myself, forcing me to take a serious look at my mental processes. All of this sounds rather dramatic, but I think the end results will be great! I've long assumed that I would always suffer from a rather crippling performance anxiety. I want to be good at derby, but will have a hard time succeeding if I don't change my performance mentality. It is also forcing me to come to terms with a lack of excersising. For years I've just ingored excersise and mourned the loss of my healthier, thinner high school body. I've reached a point in my training with derby where I will not improve unless I get off of my butt and work outside of practice. My desire to be good at derby may just help push me towards a healthier life and body. I've also gone off sweets for a good few weeks. It is not as hard as I thought and when I do have something sweet, it hasn't resulted in a major sweet food binge. Another win for derby!
I've been enjoying getting to know the women on my derby team a little better. There are some seriously cool ladies skating around the track with me. I'm meeting with my new friend 9 lb. Hammer...
